I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
