we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
