I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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