I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
you inspire me to be a worse person
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
