Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
