I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
