just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
