My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
