i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
