your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
