He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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