i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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