I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
