do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
