have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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