Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
i out mim tonsoeep
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