Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
