Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
