ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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