why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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