you guys were way drunker than both of me
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
