Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
