Sry I called you an 8
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
