pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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