i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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