I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
