dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
