My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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