There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
