have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
