How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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