addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
