i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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