Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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