k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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