Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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