Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
