Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
