The brown eye won't let me do that either.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
