Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
