guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
