Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
