Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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