At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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