I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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