Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
