how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize