I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
