Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
