Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize