Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
